ONLY BY GRACE

2009-07-09T21:04:00.002-05:00

Walk on the Water

2009-05-20T12:06:00.002-05:00

Matthew 14:26-33- ²⁶When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. ²⁷But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." ²⁸Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." ²⁹And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus.³⁰But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"³¹Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"³²When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. ³³And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, "You are certainly God's Son!"

Whether circumstances in life are going good or we are in the midst of trials Jesus wants us to focus on Him. Especially during the trials and tribulations. Peter said command me to come to you and while everything was calm Peter had no problem walking on the water to Jesus because he was focused on Him. When the storm came upon Peter he began to take his eyes off of Jesus and started focusing on his situation, and his circumstance. Then immediately he started to sink.

So many times in my own life I tend to take my eyes off of Jesus during trials especially the one I am going through right now. When I do that, when I focus on the tragedy or the circumstances in life I lose sight of Jesus and I begin to sink right down into the pit of despair. The beauty in this text is that Jesus knows we are going to do that and when we cry out to Him to save us from the hell we are putting ourself through He is faithful to take us by the hand and pull us up.

This won't happen with out a little scolding; "O ye of little faith, why did you doubt?" We doubt because we take our eyes off of Jesus. There is nothing the nearness of Christ can't overcome, but when we focus on our problems instead of Christ our problems overtake us. In verse 32 the wind stopped when Peter refocused and realized who was in control.

Why must we continually focus on Jesus? Well verse 33 says that all who were in the boat saw and worshipped Jesus. Our dependance on Christ allows His life to live through us and others will see that, especially in our trials, and will worship Jesus Christ.

2009-05-01T01:13:00.017-05:00

Sorry I haven't written in awhile. i have been very busy,t hen there are the days

that we do nothing but sit around and can't do anything. Two weekends ago Dylan Jolley and Blake Oliver came to visit us and those two cool dudes, Greyson and I went to Greenville, NC to see ECU Pirates play Baseball. We had a blast. Made alot of memories. Gotta lot of stories to tell from that trip.

Then this past Sunday through Tuesday Thumper Lyles, Ub Comer and Blaine Lowry came to visit. Oh how we love for people to visit us. We had such an amazing time with Dylan and Blake, then another amazing time with Thump, Ub And Blaine especially the board meetings. ha

Since I wrote last God has kept me in Jeremiah 17, I read this to Gina last Monday

and we are still still in this text today. Some text are good to stay in and meditate on. This is definitely one of those text for me.

5"Thus says the LORD:

Cursed is the man who trusts in man

and makes flesh his strength,

Whose heart turns away from the LORD.

6 He is like a shrub in the desert,

and shall not see any good come.

He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,

in an uninhabited salt land.

7"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,

whose trust is the LORD.

8 He is like a tree planted by water,

that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when heat comes,

for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

for it does not cease to bear fruit."

Amazing. Oh how many times i try to make my flesh my strength.

I cry out to God to be my strength and then in no time i am leaning on my own understanding and making my flesh my strength. Oh me of little faith. God is so good but I always get in the way and when I do God says I am cursed. When I am focused on my circumstances and my trials I am turning my heart away from God and I am like a shrub in the desert that will see nothing good .This kind of living isn't living at all. This kind of living will keep me in the wilderness. I will become sidetracked in the wilderness. Thank God He gives us an alternative. Verse 7 tells us that we can be blessed if we trust in the Lord. That all sounds great but to trust in God we must take up our cross and deny ourself and there in lies the problem. We lean on our own understanding of our circumstances and trial as and tribulations instead of surrendering all our cares to God and casting them upon Him. Verse 8 describes this blessed man; he is a man with deep roots as with a tree planted by a stream. No matter what comes his way he can withstand the heat because he trust the Lord. His leaves remain green during tough times, they don't draw back and wither away. There have been many days where i felt like drawing up and withering since Brandon's been gone but God gently guides my thoughts back to Him and I can feel the fear

from my circumstances fade away. Not only does God tell us that our roots will be deep and our leaves green when we trust in the Lord, but we will continue to bear fruit during a drought and not be anxious. WOW. We have had a year of drought. We lost our baby Caleb Nathaniel in September due to a miscarriage in the 4th month, then Brandon six months later. I have to ask myself, "How is my fruit during this year of drought?" It is very easy to dry up and wither away if I focus on my drought but when my focus is on Christ my drought seems to fade in comparison to His marvelous light.

Faith of a Child

2009-04-21T22:58:00.017-05:00

We are so excited that Graham came to us a few days ago and said "I want to become a Christian." "I want to ask Jesus into my heart." We were blown away. We had not ever specifically talked to Graham about becoming a Christian. But God

was working in his heart. It seems we just get in the way alot of times when God is at work. Sure we talk about Jesus and Graham knows we have Jesus in our hearts,knewBrandon he Jesus in his heart but we have never addressed becoming a Christian. This was a God thing. Graham is very expressive, and after he told us that we talked about the importance of what he wanted to do and he left the room. Gina and I looked at each other and thought oh well maybe he's just too young or does he really understand what he is doing. A few minutes later he returned to tell us that he had gone to his room and prayed and asked Jesus to come into his heart. We prayed with him and explained the importance of what he had done. Unbelievable! God is so good. . It's not what we do its what God does. Thank you God for calling our/your precious son to yourself!!

Mark 10:15 "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all." Matthew 18:3 "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Luke18:17 "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all."

Today Gina and I were in our room discussing things like "why" and "if only" and questions that really do us no good. While we were talking Graham was jumping on our bed. All of the sudden he asked me how I knew Brandon died when I came out of the store? The store where we stopped to get gas on the way to Spartanburg. That was where Mimi called me and confirmed my nightmare after her and momma found out. Immediately after I answered Graham he asked me if I would buy him some batting gloves for baseball. Gina and I looked at each other and smiled. Graham in all his innocence wasn't worried or upset. Gina said if we only had the faith and innocence of a child. Right when Gina finished saying that Graham said, "I'm gonna see Brandon again." I said where are you gonna see him and Graham answered, "in Heaven." Then he went on about his busy playing. WOW. I was focused on the "why's" and the questions that I will not get answers to this side of Heaven, focused on myself and my pain and there Graham is being an example by just knowing he will see Brandon again, trusting God, and resting in Christ. Become like a child. Knowledge comes from the Lord, not from man. Wisdom comes from the Lord, not from man. All we usually do is get in the way being worried about ourselves, instead of letting God work in us, and through us. This is not to say that we will not experience pain and heartache, which we are, but that if we set our minds on things above and not on things below our pain will not seem quite as bad. If you have ever seen a needlepoint when you look at the bottom of it all you see is a mess; thread everywhere going all different directions, knots, just a mess. That is the part of God's plan we see and understand. When you see the top of the needlepoint it is amazing, a beautiful masterpiece. That is the side God's sees and orchestrates. He knows what is best even when we don't understand, and its not till we get to Heaven and see the top of the needlepoint that we will see and come to a better understanding. Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails

2009-04-20T16:37:00.006-05:00

I started this post last Friday the 17^th but I was not able to finish.

It is now Monday the The 20^th and I am attempting to finish. I had to

stop Friday just because I couldn’t write anymore. Friday was such

a hard day. One month since Brandon’s been gone and it feels like

forever yet at the same time it feels like just yesterday. What I wrote

on Friday will be in italic, the rest is from today.

2 Cor. 4:

7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing
greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves;
⁸we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed,
but not despairing; ⁹persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down,
but not destroyed; ¹⁰always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus,
so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. ¹¹For we
who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake,
so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.
¹²So death works in us, but life in you. ¹³But having the same spirit
of faith, according to what is written, "I BELIEVED, THEREFORE
I SPOKE," we also believe, therefore we also speak, ¹⁴knowing that
He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and
will present us with you. ¹⁵For all things are for your sakes, so
that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may
cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God.

As this day began I prayed and told Jesus that He was welcome here,
in my life, and in my heart. Not that Jesus is not already in my heart but I
wanted Him to know that I welcome Him and that I need Him to
be with me. What an incredibly hard day. One month ago today I woke
up to the terrifying screams of my mom on the phone telling me that
Brandon had been in an accident and it wasn’t good. She was inconsolable
and we were four hours away. The ride to Spartanburg was the longest
ride of my life after finding out that Brandon was gone. Only by the grace
of God did we make it, Gina was driving and doesn’t even remember
the trip; other than the pain that we all were feeling. This day, the 17^th
will always be hard not that every other day for the rest of our life won’t
be hard but these just alittle harder. That’s when our dependence on the
Lord has to be that much more.
I am still in 2 Corinthians today. God gave me great hope through verses 7-15.
right from the beginning of these verses we see that we are feeble and weak,
BUT God is strong. We are weak, in earthen vessels so the greatness of God’s
Power can be revealed. We have the treasure of God’s power being revealed
through us, not we may get, or I wish I had but we have.
Verse 7 uses the term “earthen vessels.” Why would someone put a
special treasure in an earthen vessel or clay pot? This treasure is in
such weak, feeble, worthless vessel so the of power can be of God.
I am so weak. I can’t even put one footin front of the other without
God doing it through me. I can’t even put thoughts together other
than “Jesus” and “Brandon,” and “why.” But I know that in my
weakness He is strong, and His grace is sufficient for me, His strength is made
perfect in weakness. Well I am weak, completely broken. God be my strength.
Verses 8-9 show us that God’s power is shown through our trials. Paul uses four
vivid metaphors right off the military battlefield or out of the arena of a gladiator.
The first part of each phrase is describing our hardships in our earthen vessel.
The second part is describing God’s power revealed through our trials. First we
see that we are afflicted, or hard pressed on every side. The weight of the world
is coming down on us, we are being pressed like grapes by our circumstances yet
we are never crushed. Next, we are perplexed. This word means to be at a loss,
in doubt or uncertain. There are circumstances, trials, and tragedies such as the
one I am going through that we don’t understand and leave us at a loss. The
second part of this phrase though is our hope, and it says that we are not in despair.
Despair means to lose all hope. In my weakness I would be crushed and I would
lose all hope but thank God in my weakness His divine power shines through.
Paul also mentions persecuted but not forsaken and struck down but not destroyed.
I mainly wanted to focus on the first two.
We are handed over to death for Jesus’ sake. This death is physical and spiritual.
Brandon died to himself so that Christ would be manifest through him and He was.
Brandon also died physically, not as a martyr but as a servant of God. People’s lives
have been changed because of Brandon’s death. Salvation decisions have been made,
not because of anything Brandon did but because he was handed over to death for
Jesus’ sake, so His life could be manifested through him. Our lives should carry
around the same death of Jesus so His life can be seen through us. Is Jesus
being raised up through our sufferings? Whether dying is physical or dying is
spiritual, as in denying yourself daily, are we exalting Christ in our death?
Verses 13-15 show us that God’s power can be revealed through our hope. We endure
death because of our hope in the risen Savior. Followers of Christ share a common
hope; that Christ has risen from the dead. In this lays our hope, Christ’s resurrection.
Our hope is grounded in certainty of the final outcome, our resurrection, Brandon’s
resurrection, after death, based on Christ’s resurrection. Jesus’ resurrection is our
assurance that one day we would also be raised up and presented faultless before
God. Our hope, being left here full of lose is that one day we will see Brandon
again. We have that assurance. We know Brandon is spending eternity with God,
with no more fears, no more tears, no more regrets, no more wishes, just the
satisfaction of experiencing the glory of God. The trumpet will sound, and the
dead will be raised incorruptible. As we go and speak about Life to people,
we speak because of the hope we have through Christ. Brandon’s life is a testimony
to God’s power being shown through death. At the end of this section of Scripture
we see that all this, the suffering, the death, the pain, the trials are given to us so
that the power of God will be revealed through us and the grace of God will spread
and God will receive thanksgiving and glory.
This has been a powerful text to meditate on. I need hope right now and I am
definitely weak, having trouble just getting through the day. God’s power is
being revealed through Brandon’s death and my weakness. Praise God.

Jesus is our Comfort

2009-04-16T16:29:00.004-05:00

How do I get through the day? Moment by moment. There has not been a good day since Brandon’s been gone, but there have been some good moments. I have never been so sad in my life, but when I focus on Christ and the blessed assurance we have for eternal life, those moments are great. Even though I know where Brandon is, the thought of never seeing him again here on earth is devastating. The thought of my children not having him as a friend, role model, an encourager is crushing me. I have been spending so much time in the Psalms but for the last few days God has taken me to 2 Corinthians. As I have been reading and meditating on God’s word I realize that Christ is our comfort in suffering.

2 Cor. 1:3-ff- Blessed be the God and Father of our

Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Mercies and

God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation,

that we may be able to comfort those who are

in any trouble, with the comfort with which we

ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings

of Christ abound in us, so our consolation

also abounds through Christ.

I pray that God will turn my pain into praise. Only God can do that. There is nothing I can do to cause this to happen. I must just rest in Christ.

Come to me all you who are weary and

heavy laden and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and

you will find rest for your souls. For My

yoke is easy and My burden is light.

I realize through 2 Cor. 1 that Christ is the only comfort we can find; nothing else will bring us comfort in times of tribulation. Not only does Jesus give us comfort but He allows us to comfort others through Christ when they go through trials and tribulations. God, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. God keep my focus off of myself and my circumstances and let my focus be on you and you alone. I pray God will keep my focus on what I know. Christ has given me some comfort; I know that the blessed assurance we have of eternal life was also Brandon’s blessed assurance. We know he is with Jesus right now. The sad part about death is those that die without the blessed assurance that Brandon had. My vision, more so now than ever before, is to Just Speak Life to those who have no Life. I have thought many times about how much more difficult this would be had Brandon not accepted Christ as his Savior King. There would be no blessed assurance, no hope of ever seeing Brandon again, but we know we will see Brandon again, soon.

God thank you for your salvation, for your grace, for your mercy, and for your perfect peace.

This George Mueller quote below was on one of our friends blog who are going through a trying time with there new born baby, Shepherd. He was born early and has not been able to breath on his own since he was born. They are doing many procedures and we are just praying for Shepherd and his parents that God's will be done. Please pray for his parents, Noah and Stephanie, for God to comfort them and give them His peace during this time and for healing of Shep's little body.

"The strength of our faith is in direct proportion to our level of belief that God will do exactly what He has promised. Faith has nothing to do with feelings, impressions, outward appearances, nor the probability or improbability of an event. If we try to couple these things with faith, we are no longer resting on the Word of God, because faith is not dependent on them. Faith rests on the pure word of God alone. And when we take him at His Word, our hearts are at peace.

God delights in causing us to exercise our faith. He does so to bless us individually, to bless the church at large, and as a witness to believers. Yet we tend to retreat from the exercising of our faith instead of welcoming it. When trials come, our response should be, "My Heavenly Father has placed this cup into my hands so I may later have something pleasant."

Trials are the food of faith. Oh! may we leave ourselves in the hands of our Heavenly Father. It is the joy of His heart to do good to all His children. Yet trials and difficulties are not the only way faith is exercised and thereby increased. Reading the scriptures also acquaints us with God as He has revealed Himself in them.

Are you able to genuinely say, from your knowledge of God and your relationship with Him, that He is indeed a beautiful being? If not, let me graciously encourage you to ask God to take you to that point, so you will fully appreciate His gentleness and kindness, so you will be able to say just how Good He is, and so you will know what a delight it is to God's heart to do good for His children.

The closer we come to this point in our inner being, the more willing we are to leave ourselves in His hands and the more satisfied we are with all of His dealings with us. Then when trials come, we will say, "I will patiently wait to see the good God will do in my life, with the calm assurance he will do it."

In this way, we will bear a worthy testimony to the world and thereby strengthen the lives of others."

-George Mueller

God is good and all His ways are good

2009-04-11T10:29:00.004-05:00

It has been almost impossible to write lately, so many things go through my head every second that I can't keep track of them. I still struggle to focus on what I know instead of what I don't know. Too many times I focus on me instead of God. I focus on my sadness, my pain, my misery instead of focusing on what matters. It's when I stop focusing on what doesn't matter, me, and focusing on what does matter, God, that i experience His peace. It's not about us. It's about God. In exodus 33 Moses is not sure what to do as he is supposed to lead the Israelites up out of Sinai to the land flowing with milk and honey. He was dialoging with God and you can see his doubt. Moses wanted to know who was going to go with him. He didn't want to go at this alone. In verse 14 God said, "My Presence will go with you and I will give you rest." Oh how I need His presence and His rest. God is with us, His presence with us. God is faithful and will be with us. Nothing can separate us from His love. When we feel as if God is not with us it's because we have turned away from Him. When we realize that we are never alone our problems, trials and tragedies become secondary. There is nothing the nearness of Christ can't overcome.
Momma is still here with us and we are living in the NOW, Experiencing Christ moment by moment, trusting Him to carry us from one moment to the next. Our hearts are broken but we know God has a plan. Our focus has to be on Him and the power of the resurrection this weekend, as it will be so hard without Brandon here. I know one thing for sure, this is the best Easter Brandon has ever had, spending it with Christ gathered around the banquet table enjoying His presence and the feast.

Just Speak Life Ministries is up and running. God has blessed us with ideas, support, encouragement and numerous testimonies of His power through all of this. JSL T-Shirts are ready and were sold last night at College Night in Gaffney SC. Wrist bands have been ordered and should be here in a couple of weeks, the "My Mission Journal" is at the printers and should be completed soon. The website is still being constructed but should be complete soon. We are sending out 400 postcards promoting JSL, we are offering to come and speak and share the message of Life with the lost , as well as to the defeated Christians. Continue to pray that God would be glorified through the life and death of Brandon. Please pray about how God can use you to share Just Speak Life to others. If you would like a journal, t-shirt, wristband, Mission Journal, or just want to contribute to this ministry leave a comment on this post and we will get in touch with you.

God Bless You! John 6:63

2 Corinthians 4:17

2009-04-02T12:42:00.002-05:00

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and
eternal weight of glory. 2 Cor. 4:17

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19

God has kept me in these verses today. I need God's peace and He has given it to me. It is in me. His life is in me. God has placed peace in us but the weeds of life's circumstances are choking out God's peace. These verses tell us that our afflictions are light compared to the eternal weight of His glory even though we are devastated. Also we find great comfort in knowing God will meet all our needs, even the deepest needs we have through tragedy which is His everlasting peace. God is our gardener and will prune and remove all the weeds that are choking out His peace. We don't understand why God chooses to prune the way He does but we must trust Him, for He is God and we are not. I pray I get to the point that I can thank God for my afflictions and troubles knowing they will produce far more peace and outweigh the trials I endure. Please pray for "Just Speak Life," that God would use this ministry to challenge and show others how to experience and express Jesus in the now as we speak life into others; the Life of Christ.

We did get this testimony today and praise God for it. "i was just told by one of my buddy's that he had the opportunity to use Brandon's journal to lead his small group last night! he said that they've never been challenged as much as they were last night and that the fact that Brandon was around their age had a huge impact on them. He said it 'put us all in our places.'"

God is doing far more than we could have ever imagined through this tragedy. We will have JustSpeakLife t-shirts soon and bracelets. Our mission journal is at the printers and we will be looking to speak everywhere we can to spread the message of Just Speak Life.

2009-03-31T12:41:00.002-05:00

God is our refuge and strength
A very present help in trouble.
Even though the earth be removed
And though the mountains be carried
into the midst of the sea;
Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling....
Be still, and know that I am God
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.

We are back in Wake Forest and nothing seems to be any easier, in fact probably harder, not having the support we had in Spartanburg. I wanted to write yesterday but just didn't have
the strength. God kept me in Psalms 46 yesterday and today. He is our strength because we have none. As I continue to grieve, questions keep going through my mind. I pray that my question of Why? is not a question of lack of faith but a question of not understanding and grieving. My question of "why God did you take Brandon?" was somewhat explained yesterday in my time with the Lord. I was looking at it as if Brandon's life had been cut short and it wasn't fair but in reality Brandon's race was over. All of our days are numbered and we must make the most of the time God gives us. Brandon finished his race strong. He accomplished more in his 20 years than most accomplish in a lifetime. It's comforting to know God said to Brandon,"Well done thy good and faithful servant." Right now we are praying, as David Blanton said, " that God's grace would be greater than our grief." We don't know why but we must trust God. We must focus on what we do know, not what we don't. We don't know why this happened to Brandon but we do know that God is our refuge and strength, and His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. As I have been reading and meditating today I realize that blessings come to us in mysterious ways: through pain and tragedy. It's at those times that we can know God's goodness, only through trusting in Him. Our understanding will fail us, but trust will keep us close to God. We have anxious thoughts and everything, and I mean everything reminds us of Brandon, but we must listen to God, turning away all other voices, so God's voice is all we hear. We are praying for God's perfect peace, and as God gives us little glimpses of what He is doing through this we can feel that peace. Please continue to pray for us as our grief is so great and every reminder brings tears and feelings of unbelief in the pit of our stomach. We love all of you and thank you for the prayers and support.

Just Speak Life. John 6:63

Brandon

2009-03-28T14:56:00.000-05:00

For those that don't know my brother, Brandon was killed in a car wreck Tues. March 17th. This has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Gina, the kids and I have been in Spartanburg since the 17th. We are heading back to Wake Forest today, the 29th. My mom is going back with us to spend some time with us. Our grief is great, but we know God is sovereign and He has a bigger plan that we don't see yet. We don't understand ,we are angry and sad but God is our comfort. When our focus is on God's presence, things that trouble you will lose their power over you. Though our world around us is confusing and falling apart, we must remember that "I have overcome the world. I told you these things, so that in Me you may have Peace." Peace is what we long for in times like these and if we are followers of Christ we alredy have that peace through Jesus who is in us.
Yesterday God spoke to me through Isiah 26: You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trust in You. Trust in the Lord forever, For in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength. Our family needs His perfect peace and His strength. Please pray for our family as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I miss my brother more than you can imagine. The pain we are experiencing is unbearable, but we are trusting in God to carry us through this pain. I am planning to update our blog regularly to keep you updated on our family and what the Lord is doing through this tragedy. Coming soon will be a website with a blog. The address will be Justspeaklife.com
Those of you that are walking through this with us remember to Be still in God's presence and let nothing distract you from your first Love.

Potty Training and Gardens

2009-02-15T18:33:00.016-05:00

Lydia Anne is learning to potty.
This was a great laugh. She fell in, then went crazy.

We have two aspiring artist in the house, Ellie and Lydia Anne decided to draw us a picture on the cabinets and the wall. They used a permanent sharpie.

We went to Duke Gardens on Valentines Day. It was beautiful. The kids had a great time as did Gina and I.

Gigi and Greyson fell in here and Gigi is looking for her shoes. They were never found.

Wild Tree, Graham wanted to climb it so bad.

Lydia Anne watching Gigi look for her shoes.

Graham is trying to catch that thing!

God's majesty in nature is easily seen here.

Amazing water table

Gigi is so beautiful.

Bamboo jail; pretty cool.

October- December 2008

2009-01-17T15:33:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year 2009

2009-01-17T14:40:00.008-05:00

Wow! 2008 is gone. It went by so quickly. I haven't blogged since Oct. so there is alot to tell and show. I can't get all the pics on one post so I decided to put a slideshow (above). Our show starts with Gina's surgery; she had sinus and ear surgery. All went well but since the surgery we have found out that Gina has had severe hearing loss in both ears.Please pray that God would heal her ears and that some of her hearing would return. Next, some pics of the kids feeding the geese in our back yard and our first snow. No accumulation. Next, December 12 was Graham's birthday. We had some neighbors and Graham's friends over for cake and ice cream. 5 years old, wow how time flies. Gigi had her first violin program at school. She did great.She loves to play and practices all the time. She learned Silent Night on her own.The rest of the show is Christmas pictures from here and Spartanburg. It was great to see family and friends while we were their for 12 days. What a blessed Christmas it was knowing that our Lord and Savior was born in a manger, in a lowly stable for us. Thank you Jesus.

LYDIA ANNE"S BIRTHDAY

2008-10-15T19:44:00.007-05:00

October 5th was Lydia's birthday. She turned two. We got her two cakes, one just for her to enjoy and the other one for us all to enjoy. She loved them as you can see. She loves to eat. If she sees food she says "want some." We spent the day at home but since then have taken her to the local ice cream shop in downtown Wake Forest and had a blast. See the pictures at the bottom of this post..

The inside of the ice cream shop is very neat. Lydia loved sitting on the saddles used as bar stools. After the ice cream shop we went out to walk on the tracks.

Thank You

2008-10-04T21:35:00.004-05:00

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The LORD will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.

We went to the doctor last Thursday for Gina's follow up appointment. It was a tormenting time, they put in the same room that we were in when we found out that Caleb Nathaniel had no heartbeat. Of coarse they did not know I'm sure, but it was a very difficult time. The doctor said Gina is doing just fine, physically. Gina and I are getting our strength to go through each day from the Lord. As the above Psalm states, my help, our help comes from the Lord. We will get through this, but not in our own strength, only by the grace of God can struggles come our way and we move to the other side of them with a brokenness that only trials can bring.

James 1:2-4 says count it all joy when you fall into various trials, Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work,that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

God allowed a trial in our life and through his spirit in us we must consider it joy. WHY? To have patience and to be complete lacking nothing. We are lacking nothing, because Christ is in us,
so we must consider this trial joy. Are we still mourning and grieving? Absolutely, but we have this hope in Jesus Christ that will see us through this. There is nothing the nearness of Christ cannot heal. Sometimes the ruts in our life are God's grooves of Grace.

Thank you so much to those who sent cards of encouragement and called to tell us you love us. There is no way we can express our appreciation for our spiritual family and the outreach we have had. Thank You. We Love you

Tim and Gina

WE ARE SO BLESSED

2008-09-26T18:01:00.001-05:00

OUR GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!

2008-09-26T17:20:00.004-05:00

ISAIAH 43:1-3 But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...

Our God is an awesome God. My pastor and friend David Blanton gave Gina and I the verse above when he found out that we had lost our baby. As we meditate on this text along with others (such as Psa. 62:5-8 and Psa. 46:1&10 given to us by my brother in Christ, Beau Cooksey) we see that God is with us. There is no way we could get through this if we didn't have Jesus to rest in and to trust in. He is our hope. There is nothing the nearness of Christ can not overcome.

Yesterday (Thursday) was a difficult day for Gina and I as it was the day that we were scheduled to have our first ultrasound done. The kids had an early release day from school then we were going to see if we were having a girl or a boy. Instead we took Gina to have a CT scan for some sinus problems she is having. She will be having surgery soon. Anyway we got through the day rejoicing and worshiping the Lord.

Today is our 16th anniversary and this day is as emotional as all the ones since last Thursday. It was just last Friday that I was rushing Gina to the hospital. We are saddened by our loss but also praising the Lord that we are together. Our God is a God of restoration and He will restore the days the locust have destroyed. Whatever the loss may be. Today is a special day in that we finalized a name for our baby boy. We believe in life at conception and therefore our baby was alive and needs a name. His name is Caleb Nathaniel Holden. Graham told us that he wanted his little brother to be named Caleb, and Greyson and Gigi came up with Nathaniel. Graham is so sweet, he said he would be able to see Caleb and spend forever with him when he gets to heaven. Not bad for a four year old.

Thank you all for your prayers. A special thank you to Aunt Mimi and Cousin Logan for coming to Wake Forest to be with us last weekend during this difficult time. They were such a blessing to us. Thanks to those who have called and sent cards of sympathy and encouragement. Please continue to lift our family up to the Lord as there is much grieving and mourning in this house, But it is all mourning and grieving with hope. Hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. God has blessed our family in every way and we praise him in the storm.
Job 1:20-22

Please scroll up or down and look at the slideshow of all our blessings.

God bless you

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" Ps. 46:1

2008-09-22T19:38:00.005-05:00

I am going to try and share with you the events of Friday the 19th in a way that will allow you to feel the emotions we were going through. We wanted to get out of our duplex so we spent the day at the seminary laying on a blanket, letting the kids run around and play. We got back home around 3:30. At 4:15 Gina started having contractions. We called the doctor and he said he would call in some pain medicine for Gina but that wasn't enough, Gina knew she had to go to the hospital. The contractions were intense and every 1 1/2 minutes apart. The hospital is 40 miles away and it was Friday at 5:00. The ride took forever. Gina was having continual discharges all the way there. When we arrived it was the typical emergency room experience. "Wait right over there, someone will be with you shortly." Gina just about came out of the wheelchair I had to put her in since she could not walk. We had to get very stern with them and show them that Gina was bleeding everywhere before they would get us to a room. We finally got to a room where we had to wait on the doctor forever. They would not give Gina any pain medication until the doctor got there so this was a very difficult time. After about 30 minutes of constant pain Gina screamed to me that something had come out of her. It was the baby. The doctor finally got there and got the baby and showed it to us. Our baby was a boy, our third boy to go along with our three girls. Our baby boy was absolutely beautiful. Our God is so amazing, He allowed us to see our baby and spend at least two hours with him before Gina was able to get a room in the operating room. At 14 weeks our baby was fully developed, he had 2 arms, 2 legs, 10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth, 2 ears. He was so beautiful. He had no hair, but that's nothing new with Holden babies. As we sat with our baby boy, in our sadness and through our tears we praised God. We saw His majesty through the life he had created. Only our God could make someone so beautiful and complete so quickly. Our baby boy was about 3 1/2 to 4 inches long. We thank God so much that we were able to spend that time with him. Gina went on to the operating room and everything went fine. We were home by 1:00 am Saturday morning.
Everything we went through Thursday and Friday was as if we were having a baby. We went for the ultrasound, Gina had contractions at home, we flew to the hospital while Gina had contractions all the way, we waited in the hospital while Gina continued to go through labor, the nurses rolled us back to the operating room (as usual for a c-section), Gina went to recovery, I went to get the van while the nurse rolled Gina to the main entrance, I helped the nurse get Gina in the car. The only difference in this time and all the others is that we had no baby coming home with us. We are grieving uncontrollably but we know we are in the hands of our Lord and that He will see us through this. We don't know why and we probably won't know this side of heaven. We have confidence that God will show us how, how to move on from here through this tragedy, how to glorify Him through this tragedy. We have taken so much for granted but God has shown us that life is precious and we should not take anything or anyone for granted. Please continue to pray for us. We have this hope that one day we will see a little soul come up to us in heaven and say, "hey momma, hey daddy."

The Lord Gives and The Lord Takes Away

2008-09-21T23:36:00.005-05:00

Gina and I found out Thursday that our baby had no heartbeat. Gina was 3 1/2 months pregnant. She was to have a D & C Monday the 22nd.

How can something that brings so much pleasure bring so much pain? As Gina sat on the end of the table being told that our baby had no heartbeat she began to sob as did I. She looked at me with disbelief and anguish, with agony and grief. All of the other times Gina had looked at me with joy, excitement, with elation and love. How can something that brings so much joy bring so much pain? As I stood in the doctor’s office looking at the ultrasound picture my heart was broken and my tears were not withheld. This beautiful baby was gone, gone to be with the Lord. He was yours all along Lord but we selfishly want him here with us. The last time I saw an ultrasound picture was Lydia Anne and we were so happy when we saw her. I looked today at the picture of our baby with such sadness because he was gone. How can something that brings so much joy bring so much pain? The drive home was 40 minutes of crying and silence, crying and silence. Our other rides home from ultrasound appointments had been filled with laughter and joy, praise and excitement. How can something that brings so much joy bring so much pain? When we got home Gina and I walked in arm in arm with our heads down crying. Our neighbors came out to hear the good news of what we may have only to be told God had taken his child home. All the other times coming home has been joyous as we shared with everyone what we are having. How can something that brings so much pleasure bring so much pain? Our baby is with you now Lord. He has left this cruel world never to face the pains of this life, the torment of the world. He will only experience love and joy and sinlessness in your arms. So I guess my question should not be how can something that brings so much joy bring so much pain, but rather How can something that brings so much pain(this tragedy) bring so much joy? The answer is You Lord. The pain of this world has been swallowed up by you and all our baby knows is joy and pleasure with You. Our Lord is still on His throne and still in control. Please pray for us.

2008-09-19T14:39:00.001-05:00

2008-08-06T12:18:00.002-05:00

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to say hi. We have been having trouble with our blog. We can' t upload pictures for some reason. We are working on it though. We had a great week at Pawley's Island SC. in July. It's now time for school to begin. I start classes on the 14th of August. I'll try to get some pictures for everyone to see as soon possible.

2008-07-09T15:19:00.003-05:00

Here are our tomato plants on the first of May

Here are our plants on the first of July. Just the two in the ground, not the bucket. Amazing isn't it? You can also see our squash plant to the left, and sweet basil in the pot up front. Its been great watching all these plants grow. Also notice the new grass that wasn't there in the first picture.

We have at least 50 tomatoes on these two plants. If you look closely you can see close to 20 in this picture. The kids are excited about them growing and can't wait for them to turn red. Right now all we can do is have fried green tomatoes.

We also planted some cucumber plants. There are only a couple of weeks old but seem to be doing great.

Gigi's First Painting

2008-05-16T19:40:00.006-05:00

We have an artist in the family and didn't even know it. Gigi has been taking art lessons from a girl at the seminary and has completed her first work. This is her teacher Miss. Alisha

Here is Gigi working hard during her art lessons.
She is very focused.

Another picture of the artist in action

Isn't this amazing!!!!!!!! Gigi's first painting is unbelievable. Gina
and I were so proud when we saw it. Not to bad for 3 months of lessons, going only once a week.

Here is a close up of the master-
piece.

Fun in the pool!

2008-05-02T19:04:00.009-05:00

We just got this new pool and the kids
are loving it!!
Graham and Lydia love to play
in it together.

All the neighborhood kids like
it, too.

Been a Long Time.

2008-04-30T18:41:00.013-05:00

We are still here and everyone is doing great. We moved
up the street to 423 Judson Dr. Our duplex is a 3 bedroom

flat , no stairs, yea. Our backyard is a huge field, the intramural field, The

kids are loving it, so are Gina and I. I am finishing up
my second semester at SEBTS. Under the pressure
of papers and finals but things are going well.

Gigi just had her birthday on April 23. She is now 10.
Time sure passes by in the twinkling of an eye.

Gigi very surprised at her present.

A new camera. She loves it.

Lydia loves to eat. She was all into Gigi's cake.

Not as much as Gigi was into the cake. A little brotherly
love from Greyson here.

Gigi also got this mic stand from Nonnie.
She loves to sing. She and Greyson play
songs all the time. Greyson is playing the Guitar.

We have many, many pics but only have
time for a few right now. Gigi is going to take over blogging so I hope we can be more frequent with our post.

Gina and I will be meeting with the IMB
next week to discuss our options for missions.
Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to be obedient
to our Lord.

We will get more pics out soon. Look at the photoshow for more pics of the kids.

Graduation

2007-06-06T12:43:00.001-05:00

We finally made it. Graduation was May 25, 2007.
What a great time of rejoicing in what God is doing
in our life. Friends and family came from all over to
celebrate with us. I could not have done this without
the support of my beautiful wife and children.
Thanks also for all the prayers and support of
all our friends and family.

First Snow of 2007

2007-01-18T10:49:00.000-05:00

It was a wonderful surprise for us to wake up to a winter wonderland.
Here is some pics from today.

Greyson making a big snowball

Gigi waiting to sled

Greyson and Gigi enjoying the fun in the snow

Golf Course flag is about covered up

So much fun on this huge hill

Greyson and Gigi with all their friends

Graham is not to sure about the snow. He did finally start sleding down the hill

More Pictures From Williamsburg

2007-01-17T11:16:00.000-05:00

We took 189 pictures and it's hard to pick just a few but here goes. Here is Graham on an old cellar door at one of the stores we visited

Gigi picking out a bonnet

Gigi in one of the Colonial Dresses she tried on

Graham guarding momma, Ellie, and Lydia

Finally got the whole gang together for a picture.

Big Brother and Big Sister enjoying Williamsburg

Graham and Ellie wearing down after a long day

Lydia had a great time

Ellie was wiped out at the end of the day, as were we all. She actually fell asleep like this and stayed this way for hours.

Hope you all enjoyed the pictures, send us some comments.

The Holdens in Colonial Williamsburg

2007-01-16T13:25:00.000-05:00

We were blessed to be able to take a couple of daysto get away and travel to Williamsburg Virginia this past weekend, 1-12 through 1-14. It was a great time, very tiring though. The kids loved it and learned some history for homeschool. We were also blessed to be able to stop by and see some old friends, Chris and Nancy Jones. It had been three years since we had seen each other so that was a sweet blessing.

Greyson in a colonial outfit

Church at night with our new camera.

In front of the Governors Palace

Graham is right where we want him.

It really hurts.

Our carriage ride was great.

Graham keep trying to hide from the camera but I got him.

Ellie got hungry and thought the pebbles were food. This was hilarious.

Precious!

The Holdens and the Jones together again. This was a great time of fun and fellowship.

GIgi's First Piano Recital

2007-01-16T12:51:00.000-05:00

Gigi had her first piano recital on Jan. 5th She played brilliantly. She is still taking lessons every week and has made major improvements over the last month. Here are some pics from the recital.

Gigi on a Baby Grand

Gigi and one of her friends, Chelsey

Gigi's whole piano class

Momma with her beautiful pianist.

Dec. 3rd Ice Skating

2006-12-12T16:17:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have been so busy around here with Thanksgiving in Spartanburg, Working side jobs, school, especially finals, and family. Here are some pics from Dec. 3rd Grahams first ice skating experience. He did great for his first time.

Graham can't wait to get on the ice.

There they go! Big Sis and Graham.

Greyson, Gigi and Graham had a blast at the factory ice skating.

Ellie didn't have to bad of a time either, she just wanted to get on the ice.

Kids, Kids and more Kids

2006-11-02T20:45:00.000-05:00

Lydia Anne says Hi to everyone!

Lydia being attacked by Graham and a big pink
poodle.
Lydia is so precious
So precious, even when she is upset.
So precious when she is asleep also
Lydia Anne is becoming more alert everyday.

Nonnie was able to visit for eight days. What a great time, and alot of help with the children.

Sad day at the Holdens when Nonnie had to leave

Ellie is growing everyday and so are her eye lashes.

On My Way To Texas

2006-10-24T16:05:00.000-05:00

On my way to Texas Oct 20th for "The Blast" mens retreat, Scott Wolfe and I flew from Greenville / Spartanburg to New York and then on to Dallas TX. (round about way to go to Texas huh). We then rode with Jason Loveless to Tyler. I want to thank Fellowship Bible Church, Tom Eubanks, Jason Loveless and the whole planning team for inviting Scott and me to participate in the retreat. This pic is over New York where it was raining and very overcast. We had 2 miles visability when we landed.

Texas Mens Retreat

2006-10-24T13:59:00.000-05:00

Pine Cove Shores in Tyler Tx. is where God moved in a mighty way in the hearts of many men, myself included. I went with Scott Wolfe (InYou Ministries) on Friday Oct 20 and returned Sunday Oct. 22. We were able to share Jesus with a group of 145- 160 men. Scott taught how God sees a man, how God feeds a man, and how God leads a man. I was blessed to share my testimony with the men. It was amazing to see the Spirit of God working not only in the men that attended but in mine and Scotts life as well. We shared many things this weekend; Our identity is in Christ only, we realize this identity through brokenness, Jesus is enough no matter what our circumstances, we are an oak, Jesus has given us all we need, we are complete in Christ, and much more. The men we met and the stories they shared with us will remain with me for years to come.

The view from the dock where I met with God in an
amazing way before I spoke Saturday night

Scott is ready for some breakfast

Scott sharing with
the group

Scott teaching the men the abiding life

Texas Mens Retreat Cont.

2006-10-23T12:24:00.000-05:00

The camp was beautiful! The meeting cabin is
on the left and the mess hall is straight ahead
This is the cabin we stayed in. It was great.
Plenty of room and indoor plumbing
Scott and, way too big, Tim discuss the abiding life with Tom

All the Blow Holes minus one. We couldn't find Jason

Brett wondering what in the world Tim is saying
Scott and Kyle in deep discussion

All the FOTBH boys together one last time.

Home at Last

2006-10-07T17:48:00.000-05:00

Finally we are on our way. Gina had a rough ride home with the pain she was in
Close call on the way home. Traffic was terrible on Capital Blvd.

This was a long trip down for Gina but thank God we are home.
This picture is a little blurred but you can see it is good to be home and the kids are so happy to see Lydia.
Graham is so proud of his little, little sister.
He had a kiss for her when she got home.

Going Home Today

2006-10-07T12:16:00.000-05:00

Lydia is so special .

Ellie is so happy to have
a little sister.

Gina is feeling a little better this morning.
She is up and dressed for our trip home. How Precious is this?

Good to see Family

2006-10-06T18:36:00.000-05:00

Aunt Mimi and Nonnie came to see
little Lydia Anne.

They could not get enough of the kids

One Day Old

2006-10-06T17:29:00.000-05:00

We are having a blast with Lydia and the rest
of the kids. Gina is feeling alot of pain today.
Prayerfully she will feel better soon. Here are
some more pics. We hope to go home Sat.
God Bless You!

We are now "The Magnificent Seven"
with momma in the middle.
Children are surely a blessing from
the Lord.

Proud Daddy and Lydia

First pictures of Lydia Anne

2006-10-05T16:07:00.000-05:00

Here she is. Only a few hours old. Still has
some red marks on her face but she is beautiful. This is a yawn not a scream.
Here is big sister, very proud of her new baby sister. Keep checking this site, more pics to come

Lydia is Here

2006-10-05T11:16:00.000-05:00

Praise the LORD!! We have a beautiful, healthy little girl. Lydia Anne Holden, arrived this morning at 6:13 am.
Around 2:50 am I received a call at UPS over the walkie talkie to "call home your wife needs you". Wow, talk about adrenaline, I called and Gina said she had been having contractions since a little after 12:oo, and that I needed to come on home. She told me not to drive fast, so after running out of UPS and 1/4 mile to the parking lot, and driving (not fast, I didn't go over 95) home I saw Gina was in great pain. We were having a baby. The problem was that the hospital was 25 miles away. We threw everything in the car and called our neighbors, the Pittmans, to come sit with the kids. Off to the hospital with flashers going, we probably did get over 95 in the straightaways, Gina having contractions one minute apart. We made it and everything was a success. Lydia weighs 8 lbs 7 ozs and is 21 inches long and very healthy. Her epgar was 8 at 1 minute and 9 at 5 minutes. The doctor said of Gina that everything looked very good. He said there was very little scar tissue and that he would see us back for number 6. WOW. Gina is very tired and resting well. Thank you for your prayers. That's all for now. Sorry no pics yet, I ran out of the house and forgot my USB cable for my camera. They are coming though, so check back soon.
Praise the LORD, Acts 16:14.

Saturdays and Birdhouses

2006-09-09T18:16:00.000-05:00

Saturday was a great day of
fun and fellowship for myself, Gini Grace
and Graham. We went to Lowes

at 10 am to build a birdhouse.
Taking Graham was a scary thought especially since he was going to have a hammer out in public.

We had a great time, Gigi built her house like
a pro. I had to help Graham but he did hammer
a few nails in the birdhouse. He was great.

After we got home we painted the houses.

They turned out great. We have not seen any birds yet but if you build it they will come.

Little Graham after a hard day of birdhouse building.

Busted eardrum

2006-09-07T19:23:00.000-05:00

Please lift Elizabeth up in your prayers as we found out yesterday that she has a busted right eardrum. She has been very fussy and according to the doctor with good reason. The doctor said it is very painful for her. She should make a complete recovery soon

We would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment on this page if you would like.

Time with Family (Con't)

2006-09-04T16:30:00.000-05:00

Greyson and Graham having a blast in the pool at their Uncle Everett and Aunt Mimi's house.

Elizabeth - Knocked out after 2 long days in Greenville. She felt like we all did.

Time with Family (Con't)

2006-09-04T16:17:00.000-05:00

This was the first day with Gina's family. We had a great time. The heat was to much for Gina's mom. She suffered from heat exhaustion and we had to call the ambulance. She was fine after a couple of hours. We came back a couple of days later with my mom and dad and Gina's family again. No pics available

Time with Family (Con't)

2006-09-04T15:59:00.000-05:00

This is the beautiful Reedy River in Greenville. This is where we spent the day, two days actually.

Time with Family this Summer

2006-09-03T18:29:00.000-05:00

We were able to go to Spartanburg this summer for a short visit. We went with family to Greenville for a day trip. It was great.

Still Learning

2006-09-03T17:46:00.000-05:00

I'm still learning how to enter new post so bear with me as we get this page off the ground. We will be able to keep in touch and send pics while we are in the hospital using this site so keep this address close by; holdenshaven.blogspot.com

2006-09-03T17:45:00.000-05:00

Getting Close

2006-09-03T16:34:00.000-05:00

Gina went to the doctor Friday 9-1-06. Everything is looking good as far as her gestational diabetes and blood presure. The only shocker is that she is measuring 37 weeks and is actually only 34 weeks. Lydia may be here very soon. Gina and the baby are doing just fine. Please pray for strength for Gina as she continues to homeschool and keep our home in order. God is so good and we are so looking foward to seeing Lydia get here.